Individualism v. Dignity and Respect
Can I believe that it is our responsibility to tolerate others demonstrating their rights, even if I find their message objectionable?
Can I at the same time believe in the importance of demonstrating dignity and respect towards others?
This week, a mentor challenged me on the topic of individual versus collective liberty. I found his feedback valuable, especially since he comes from a different background than me.
The challenge my mentor presented to me was: Where do we draw the line between the right to liberty, and maintaining dignity and respect towards others?
I believe that it is our responsibility to respect the rights of others, even if we disagree with their message. For instance, while I may find the act of burning my country's flag objectionable, I still believe that you have the right to do so. Similarly, even though I may find the actions of the Westboro Baptist Church reprehensible, I still believe in their right to peacefully demonstrate.
Where does this stop? Do I genuinely believe that we should tolerate all Americans who demonstrate their rights in objectionable ways? Should we even tolerate those who spat on returning service members, a story told to me as a common occurrence during the Vietnam conflict (fact check: that story may not be true)?
Don’t I also believe in the importance of Americans showing dignity and respect towards others, as well as behaving with decorum? While I personally believe in demonstrating dignity and respect towards others, can I also hold others to that same standard?
Is it possible to answer "yes" to both questions? Can I believe that it is our responsibility to tolerate others demonstrating their rights, even if I find their message objectionable? Can I at the same time believe in the importance of demonstrating dignity and respect towards others?
Tolerating others who demonstrate their rights in ways I find objectionable seems relatively simple to me. I choose to acknowledge that their background and perspective differs from mine, and they are entitled to make their own decisions. I also believe that they have the right to their belief, just as I have the right to mine. I don't necessarily agree with them, nor do I seek their agreement with me.
In practice, I make choices about where I choose to direct my attention. For instance, I might decide not to visit certain venues or engage with certain forms of entertainment, such as horror movies or jazz music. Similarly, I might choose to disregard particular news sources. While I might opt not to read certain books, I don't condone burning them. Unless there is a clear threat to myself or others, I prefer to focus my attention elsewhere.
Maintaining dignity and respect towards others also appears relatively straightforward to me. I choose to act with grace and dignity, and receive others with the same. I acknowledge that others’ opinions are as valid as my own, and I make an effort to consider that my perspective might be limited and there may be other viewpoints that I have not considered.
As part of my commitment to treating others with dignity and respect, I might choose not to exercise my rights so as not to offend others.
Some specific scenario questions might help clarify the answer.
Let's begin with an easy question: is it permissible for the President of the United States to read books to a group of schoolchildren in a classroom setting?
Based on the current precedent of many Presidents of the United States reading books to schoolchildren, it seems likely that any elected official would be allowed to do so. However, it is possible that there may be objections or pushback in certain circumstances, such as if a politician from one political party were to visit a school in an area dominated by the opposing party. For example, if Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) visited and read books to schoolchildren in a predominantly conservative area of Texas, there may be some individuals who would object or protest her visit.
Can a member of the military read books to a classroom full of schoolchildren while in uniform? What if those service members were recruiters?
I would not be surprised if schools wanted to prohibit this activity. President George W. Bush signed the “No Child Left Behind Act” in 2002. Part of that act included the removal of federal funding from schools that block access to military recruiters. However, many schools still attempt to block access to members in uniform.
How about—can a man, dressed in drag, read books to a classroom of schoolchildren? Does that violate the dignity and respect of others?
Let’s come back to that one, because there’s context we need to understand from the next question.
Can a man, dressed in clothing covered in the Confederate flag, read books to a classroom of schoolchildren?
Melton v. Young, as well as Hardwick v. Hayward, found schools have the right to prohibit individuals from wearing clothing adorned with the Confederate flag due to its potential to disrupt the conduct of the school. In 2009 the US Supreme Court denied students a similar appeal without comment. Students and others are not allowed to wear clothing bearing the Confederate flag at school, even if it means limiting their First Amendment right to free speech.
Okay, we found the line there somewhere. Let’s get back to our question.
Can a man, dressed in drag, read books to a classroom of schoolchildren?
Someone choosing to wear drag is expressing a First Amendment right to free speech. Does that violate the dignity and respect of others?
What’s the potential to disrupt school activities? The basis of the court’s denial of the wear of the Confederate flag is not a denial of the freedom of speech. Wear of the Confederate flag, though objectionable, is also demonstrating one’s First Amendment right to free speech.
The basis of the court’s denial of the wear of the Confederate flag is that students who exercise that right disrupt school activities. The Confederate flag is a symbol of slavery and racism. When students display the flag, fights ensue. Teachers and administrators can’t maintain order, and students can’t learn in their environment.
Men in drag, on the other hand, don’t have the same long objectionable history. As a marginalized group, the LGBTQ+ community has largely been the oppressed and hidden throughout their history, not the oppressor.
However, I wouldn’t be the school administrator in question, and I can’t judge the disruption of the school from here.
A conflicting point regarding the potential to disrupt school activities is the opinion of some that seeing individuals dressed in drag sexualizes children. In support of this point I might ask, what’s the intent of wearing drag to story time? Is the intent to demonstrate drag to the audience, or is the intent to read the audience a story? Can we maintain the dignity and respect of all involved by dressing the presenter in a suit and tie?
Another compelling aspect of this proposed event is, do the parents of the children have any recourse to excuse their child from the event if they feel the event isn’t appropriate for their child?
Just as I believe in Americans’ freedom from religion, and in the right of students (and parents) to excuse themselves from participating in the Pledge of Allegiance, I believe in the right of students (and parents) to excuse themselves from other events they find objectionable. It would be illogical to believe that some students could excuse themselves from activities they found objectionable, while other students could not.
If this event were held at a public library, on a sidewalk, in a cafe, or other location that the student (and parent) could choose to attend or not, I would argue that the event could be held.
I would go so far as to suggest holding the event could even raise the awareness of LGBTQ+ groups for school-aged children, and open their perspective to include another group of Americans who have rights equal to their own.
Can I believe that it is our responsibility to tolerate others demonstrating their rights, even if I find their message objectionable?
Can I at the same time believe in the importance of demonstrating dignity and respect towards others?
Not without offending some, at least part of the time. But I’ll do it anyway.
I believe that it is our responsibility to respect the rights of others, even if we disagree with their message.
I believe in treating our fellow Americans with dignity and respect.
May God bless the United States of America.
